Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sorry, Roger, I Don't Give a Shit

Roger Clemens wanted to deny recent allegations of his steroid and Human Growth Hormone use but his massive ass was so weighed down by anabolic horse tranquilizers that he just sent his agent instead.

There are a number of people who feel that the revelation of Clemens' cheating is the biggest black eye on baseball to come out of the Mitchell Report. Many even believe that this is the most disappointing news since Pete Rose bet on the Reds.

I, for one, don't really care. Maybe I'm blindly married to baseball, and I'll never let controversy dim my opinion of its beauty; I think most hardcore fans feel the same way.

But far more importantly, Roger Clemens just isn't news anymore. Again, perhaps my objectivity is subject to question, but I believe Rocket signed away his legacy after the 2003 season.

Consider this: Clemens recorded his 300th win and 4,000th strikeout in the same game of the '03 season. He was given a standing ovation at Fenway in the last Red Sox-Yankees game of the year. Joe Torre even let him manage the last game of the regular season. Follow that with an American League pennant over Boston and you have a truly magical ending to a first-ballot Hall of Fame career.

But no. Clemens was selfish. He was arrogant. He fell in love with hearing his own name. So he un-retired...three times. He pitched four meaningless seasons, won 44 extra meaningless games, and recorded 573 more meaningless strikeouts.

Your place in history had been established already, Roger. You got to 300. You got to 4,000. 354 doesn't mean shit. 4,600 doesn't mean shit. You could have called it a career like you said you would and gone out on top. But you demanded attention and praise, so you kept coming back, not noticing that the laudatory press dwindled with each unnecessary season you pitched.

And now you've been revealed as a cheater and you think it's necessary to fight the charges publicly. You think you're still important, that your image and reputation still matter to us. You're wrong. They don't.

You could have been immortal. You could have had the kind of ageless glory you have so desperately sought for the past four years. But instead, you're an overweight, geriatric cheater. So do us all a favor and don't bother trying to win back our respect by denying the steroid allegations. You had your chance. Nobody is listening, Roger. Nobody cares.

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