Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I'm Pissed Like Lex Luger

This is not going to be very well-articulated at the moment because of the late hour and the fury with which it fills me.

As you may or may not care, West Virginia University and its psychopathic fanbase have been running a Rich Rodriguez smear campaign since he left the program in late December. The program that he brought to national prominence in under three seasons. That West Virginia. The same West Virginia that he put on the map.

Today we read that hundreds of precious files and documents are missing from the office that was once occupied by Satan himself, Rich Rodriguez.

Paperwork detailing every player on West Virginia's roster, as well as the program's activities over the past seven years, went missing between Rodriguez's resignation as coach to take over at Michigan and the team's return from the Fiesta Bowl, the Charleston (W.Va.) Gazette reported.

Uh...what? Thank God for computers, right, Morgantown?

"It's unbelievable. Everything is gone, like it never existed,'' a source within the athletic department, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, told the Gazette. "Good, bad or indifferent, we don't have a record of anything that has happened.''

Really? You don't have a record of anything that has happened? When was the last time you updated your filing system, 1975?

There is so much unforgivable bullshit with this story that I am about to shit a live goat. Let's review:

1. No state university, high school , elementary school, preschool, or daycare center would keep records on a single sheet of paper like it was typed on a motherfucking typewriter without a backup copy. I refuse, fucking refuse to believe that a STATE OPERATED AND FUNDED UNIVERSITY does not keep personnel information on a computer. This anonymous source either realizes that he is very stupid for not checking the C: drive or consciously realizes that his interview serves only as an attack upon WVU's departing coach.

2. The following men are employed by West Virginia:

Associate AD/Finance and Administration: Russ Sharp
Associate AD/Student Services: Garrett Ford
Assistant AD/Executive Director MAC: Larry Aschebrooke

Assistant AD/Compliance: Brad Cox
Assistant AD/Marketing and Sales: Brad Howe

So...let me see if I understand this correctly. West Virginia employs a man for each specific area of activity in which paperwork has mysteriously disappeared, and yet we are to believe that such documentation was kept, in one copy only, in one fucking drawer in the head coach's office? Why do these men get paid? Who was the retard who set the documentation system up? How does Brad Cox not have every document relating to player attendance and grades in his files? How does Russ Sharp not have all the scholarship info? How does Garret Ford not have all the class schedules and contact info? How does Brad Howe not have info on community service? What, exactly, do they do at West Virginia?

They have people skills! What the hell is wrong with you people?!

3. Finally, doesn't anybody realize that people shred things when they change jobs? What did you expect him to do? "Ooh, a West Virginia income tax form. How I cherish you! I'll never part with you, my darling."

It's not the ignorance that pisses me off as much as the hatred. It's not hard to see that somebody at West Virginia is tremendously stupid or purposefully trying to run a smear campaign against Michigan's new coach. I'm done.

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