Everyone's Going to Prison!

I'd just like to share a few of the links that are gracing the front pages of various websites...see if you notice a pattern.

Reginald!

Good news for Latrell!

Andy! Kirk! Chuck!

That guy!

With the gun!

With the racist coach!

With the locker room that smells like farts and Pepto Bismol!

In Canada!

In Ohio!

In South Africa!

Ugly Douchebag Moron!*

A return to power for the Colombo family? Doubtful.**


*I hate this Kevin Hart piece of shit. A few people have tried to convince me to pity him. What the fuck? No, I don't pity his fat, ugly bad-at-football ass. He embarrassed everyone who has ever supported him, cost his coach his job, cost himself any chance of playing big-time football, and generally made a huge ass out of himself and his parents on a much larger scale than a player of his worthless quality deserved. I hope he works in a fucking Burger King.

THE BIG ONE:

**The Five Families of New York are the Gambinos (who are generally considered the most powerful after John Gotti's impressive jury-rigging and wire-eliminating practices strengthened the family during his six-year reign as Don), the Genoveses, the Luccheses (whom I personally believe to be the number two family), the Bonannos, and the Colombos. The Colombos have been by far the weakest family in New York for thirty years; their Don is 73 years old and his consigliere is 90. The Bonannos hold a heavier influence over the city than the Colombos but their roster has been so decimated by arrests since 2004 that their ability to compete is all but exhausted. The New York Times reported in July of '04 that the NYPD had made 75 arrests in the Bonanno family; keep in mind this organization had less than 150 made men at the time. That number has only decreased further in the three years since, and last Thursday's sting, in which members of the Gambino, Bonanno, and Genovese families were arrested certainly don't help.

Obviously, this is bad news for the Gambinos. I can foresee only one result from these arrests: an enormous, five-year-minimum dominance of power by the Lucchese family, who went unscathed. While the Colombos also avoided arrests, the family is so weak and small that they cannot possibly compete on an economic level with the 500-strong Luccheses. The secret to the Luccheses' survival, as it always is in organized crime, has been avoiding federal indictments and convictions. It was also recently discovered that the Luccheses had two NYPD officers on their payroll for the better part of fourteen years; it's hard to imagine they don't have at least a handful more.