That'll Teach Me to Heap Praise Upon a Team

I ordered that fucking P'Zone two hours ago!

My Washington Wizards are FULL OF FAIL lately, totally fucking up the awesome prognostications I made a few weeks ago. The Wiz have lost six in a row and eight of their last 10, and now a three-game West Coast trip against Phoenix, Golden State, and the Los Angeles JV squad will likely mire them in a yet-deeper funk.

Poop. How did this happen so quickly? It's actually a very simple and very frustrating answer: no Tough Juice.

Do-everything forward Caron Butler has been struggling to return from a strained left hip flexor which he suffered against THOSE GOD-DAMNED DIRTY BUCKS on January 27th. Since that game, the Wizards have won only one of eight games.

Obviously, this turn of events makes Butler's value to the team quite obvious. Perhaps the simultaneous returns of Tough Juice and The Black President will immediately have a Voltron-esque effect upon the Wizards, propelling them to 33 straight wins. But I guess that's unlikely.