Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Daily SAll-Star: Robert Patrick

"Stop farting."

Today's SAll-Star is a man renowned for his genius backup acting ability. Although I contend that he is not, in fact, a man. He is the T-1000, known by his human alias of Robert Patrick.

Total badass Robert Patrick, unsurprisingly, was a track and football stud at Bowling Green before dropping out to pursue a career in "acting," which was really just a cover for his assassinations. It's no coincidence that T-1000 Patrick dropped out of college precisely at the same time Jimmy Hoffa disappeared.

Patrick's big break in Hollywood, obviously, was his turn as the extremely excellent T-1000 model Terminator (compared to Arnold's shitty T-800; the T-900 made waffles). If you watch Terminator 2's director commentary you will hear James Cameron, acclaimed film director and admitted egomaniac, praise the shit out of Patrick specifically for his fluid motion and athleticism as the T-1000 character.

After T2, Patrick's biggest roles were stints on The Sopranos and The X-Files. He also narrates Spike TV's Disorderly Conduct: Video on Patrol program. No word on his NASCAR loyalties.

Also, it might not matter to you, but Patrick has been married only once and to the same woman for nineteen years. His two kids are named Samuel and Austin.


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