Saturday, March 8, 2008

Soccer von Foosball

When you do an image search for Portsmouth this gigantic spinnaker thing is the only picture that shows up. Apparently there is literally nothing else of value in the entire city.

Many Americans know that English people play a lot of soccer, and that there is a club called Manchester United, blah blah blah.

Yesterday, mighty Man U was knocked out of the FA Cup by Portsmouth, which is (from what I can tell) the shittiest piece of shit in all of merry England. Portsmouth is on the south coast, which native Londoner Steve tells me is a "drunken pit of filth and crime. Everyone hates each other but they hate outsiders even more. And you can never understand their conversations because they sound like fookin' chainsaws when they talk. And it fookin' smells bad."

Portsmouth is the Baltimore of England.

(I went onto the Portsmouth network page on Facebook and the dominant conversation on its wall is two peeps trying to cheer up their friend who cannot get drunk this weekend because she is pregnant. Hmm...)

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