No more complaints

Congratulations to the Boston Celtics. Last night, the team defeated their longtime (though not recently) rivals the Los Angeles Lakers 131-92 to capture their 17th NBA Championship. Though not the more talented team (at least by my estimation), the Celtics played harder and more cohesively in the series and seemed to want the title more than the Black Mamba and his compatriots. I'm especially happy for the team's Big 3: Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett. All three have been good to great players on terrible teams their entire careers and now, with a legitimate supporting cast, have won it all. This also firmly plants KG as one of the best ever.

Of course, all of this means one thing:

Boston fans. NO MORE COMPLAINING!

You now have the best basketball team, the best baseball team, and the best football team (and yes, 99 out of 100 times, the Patriots beat the Giants). Hell, even your hockey team made the playoffs. You cannot, under any circumstances, complain about your sports teams. And if I hear one thing about all the suffering you had to endure in the past, I'll start stabbing throats. It doesn't matter what you had to put up with because it's all good now...and if you were really so hardcore back in the day how come nobody came to your teams' games when they were terrible? The Red Sox have become the Yankees. The Patriots have become the Cowboys. The Celtics have become the old Celtics (or Lakers, if you're into that). And the thing is: you should all be fine with that. I would kill for my teams to be that, but Bostonians have such a huge persecution complex that they can't handle being successful so they either continue to complain or get overly confident and rub it in the faces of others. So I'm asking the good people of Boston and the seemingly endless hordes of Beantown fans elsewhere to simply shut up and enjoy the greatness that is your sports town.