Thursday, August 21, 2008

Daily Fastest Man Alive


Usain Bolt is the fastest man to ever walk this earth.

This statement is not up for debate after Bolt won both the 100m and 200m sprints at the Beijing Olympics. Bolt is only the 3rd person to win gold in both events in the same Olympics (joining Jesse Owens, noted anti-Nazi, and Carl Lewis, noted singer) and the 1st person ever to set world record in both events.

In addition, Bolt is Jamaican and everyone loves Jamaicans. Oh, and his name is Usain Bolt. Usain Bolt. The only thing he could have been other than a world class runner is a space cowboy.

However, now Bolt is being criticized by the IOC and its chairman Jacques Rogge for his showboating during the 100m sprint.

On the other hand, the IOC is being criticized by me for completely lacking a pair of, as a Dominican once said to me referring to his friend who had his knees buckled by a sub-par curveball, "cajones." I was always told to "never show off because there is always someone better than you." This is sound advice and I follow it constantly. However, Bolt is the best. There is nobody better. Let the guy talk all the trash he wants, if others don't like it, they should train harder. Earn your ego.

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