Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Silvio Berlusconi for President of Earth

Silvio always goes big

Silvio Berlusconi, for the less politically-inclined out there (I love you), is the current Prime Minister of Italy, an enviable political office if ever one existed.

I could have looked up his political record, and what his reputation is both locally and internationally, but I don't care. He's been elected like 14 times so he's obviously popular. But more importantly, he's awesome.

Silvio's most recent "gaffe," though I prefer to call it "a good joke," was referring to Barack Obama as tan. In context: "I will try to help relations between Russia and the United States where a new generation has come to power. I don't see problems for Medvedev to establish good relations with Obama because he is young, handsome and even tanned. Therefore, I think that a good cooperation can be developed."

Anyone with a stick not up their butt can see that Silvio was just making fun of Obama's youth appeal that no other US president has ever had. I imagine Teddy Roosevelt rocked a leathery brown tan during his tenure in the Oval Office thanks to all the time he spent Roughriding in Puerto Rico but nobody would say so simply because he frightened children.

But let's ignore this recent non-issue and discuss the two facets of Silvio's personality that make him the Barry White of prime ministers.

1. Anyone who gets in his way is either a Nazi, a Communist, or a cannibal.
2. If international tensions were ever to arise, he would simply have sex with them until they became docile husks of clemency.

Take that, meter maid.

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