Well this is great news

I've always liked Phil Mickelson. He's a nice guy. He's left-handed. He has a beautiful wife and kids. He finally got that no-major monkey off his back. He's pudgy. What's not to love?

Well, it turns out that Lefty is even cooler than we thought. That's right, Phil Mickelson is trying to buy 105 Waffle House "restaurants".



Seriously, the Waffle House serves horrendously greasy food that has caused more than one person to reconsider their religious affiliation and question why there is evil in the world. But like any good diner, dive bar, or brothel worth its salt, it's about the atmosphere with Waffle House. And that atmosphere says, "I'm drunk, high, or too poor to care."

So Phil, I hope this works out for you.