Saturday, April 19, 2008

Daily Shredder: Eddie Van Halen

Edward Lodewijk Van Halen, better known as Eddie, is the shredded-pork sandwich lead guitarist of 80's hair extravaganza Van Halen. Although the band is named after him, he has never actually been the frontman. While David Lee Roth jumped around the stage in his spandex howling, Eddie would scramble brains with his hot licks. Eddie is of mostly Dutch heritage but is part Indonesian on his mother's side. Over the years, he has provided some of rock and roll's best guitar solos as well as R&B's, as he did in Michael Jackson's "Beat It." Which, I'd like to add, is one of the most awesome songs of the 20th century.

My favorite Van Halen song is "Hot for Teacher," which demonstrates perfectly David Lee Roth's insane showboating and Eddie's quiet, unassuming ROCKNESS. Which is not to say David Lee Roth is anything but awesome. Because he is.

But Eddie's most famous ass-liquefying tune is "Eruption," a thing that is wordless, under two minutes, and devoid of a beat. So it's pretty unimpressive.

A Classic

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Friday, April 18, 2008

No Reason

Daily SAll-Star: Steve McNair

Yesterday, Air McNair decided to finally take off his tattered shoulder pads and call it a career. One of the most successful quarterbacks of his generation, McNair was known for being tough as nails and creating something out of nothing (kinda like the black Brett Favre).

McNair will be best remembered for leading the Titans to within 1 yard of a Super Bowl victory (see below) and for sharing the MVP trophy with Peyton Manning in 2003. He is easily the best QB in Titans/Oilers history save for Warren Moon. He now leaves a vacancy in the Ravens' backfield that will have to be filled by either Troy Smith, Kyle Boller, or a drafted QB. Ouch.

So here's to you, Steve. You were an undeniable leader on and off the field who had a great career. Kudos.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


It's not often that the Orioles get the last laugh or look even better some time after a move, so I'm taking a lot of joy in the revelation that Miguel Tejada is actually 2 years older than previously believed.

Even though Astros GM Ed Wade plays off this fact as though it's nothing, this is a huge deal (also, Ed Wade is a moron and should not be trusted). This means that Tejada's dip in his numbers was not simply the soul-draining effect of playing for Baltimore (though that probably contributed), but rather because he's starting to decline. Throw in steroid issues and the Astros are looking at most one solid year out of Tejada before he becomes a wildly overpaid (instead of just mildly) ex-star who will retard the progress of any prospects in the Astros system as he eats up playing time.

Great job 'Stros!

Daily SAll-Star: Bo Burnham

Bo Burnham is a 17-year-old dude from suburban Boston who can play guitar and piano. Big deal. He's not a child prodigy and his singing voice has a pretty small range.

But he is funny. I mean really funny. Even though his professional comedic career is only a few YouTube videos long, and at the risk of sounding extremely presumptuous, I think he could have a successful career in comedy. No joke.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Daily SAll-Star: Karolis Bučinskis


Charles Bronson.

I have nothing to write, as pictures and videos can do a better job.


Every male reader is now in pain...

Poor Antawn Jamison...

Really, the best part of this video is Steve "Dagger" Buckhantz and Phil Chenier on the call. They're easily the best announce team around.

(Credit where it's due...I found this video on, one of the finest websites around. Seriously, they're better than us.)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Daily Pugilist: Arturo Gatti

Today is Thunder's 36th birthday. It's also Emma Watson's 18th birthday, but that's a topic for another website. Probably one that you don't want showing up on your credit card bill.

Arturo Gatti will not go down in boxing history as one of the five or ten or fifteen best boxers of all time. He only fought 49 times in his career and most of his wins for the first three years of his professional career were over extremely shady competition. And he was in lower weight classes (lightweight and later welterweight) before pay-per-view knew that the heavyweight division was dead. Which it has arguably been since February 10th, 1990.

However, Gatti is indisputably one of the most exciting boxers of our generation. Four times in his 49 fights he participated in Ring Magazine's Fight of the Year (including three years in a row). Gatti was simply a spectacular workhorse, one of the bloodiest and tireless combatants ever to step in a boxing ring. Whenever I see footage of him I think of Boxer, the horse from Animal Farm.

Gatti's thrilling career is a reminder that boxing is not dead if people will simply stop paying to watch 240-pound asthmatics slow dance with each other.

If you want to watch some boxing, look first to the welterweight, featherweight, and lightweight divisions, by far the most competitive and entertaining. The welterweight division is best known for Floyd Mayweather, but is best represented by Puerto Rico's Miguel Cotto, undefeated in 32 fights with 26 wins by knockout. The featherweights are led by Manny Pacquiao, a true craftsman who destroys virtually everything he touches, as well as Juan Manuel Marquez, Ring Magazine's third-best boxer in the world (behind Mayweather and Pacquiao). And the lightweights feature perhaps the most popular British boxer of all time, Ricky "Hitman" Hatton.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Daily SAll-Star

This guy:

I've seen hotter.
(from CollegeHumor)

I don't know who he is or what he does...but he pretty much embodies everything that this website stands for.

Yeah...that's all I have to say about that.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Daily Mustachio: Billy Dee Williams

Today's gentleman of the lip fuzz is none other than Smooth Lando himself, Mr. Billy Dee Williams.
That's right, Billy Dee loves Colt 45. Probably because it's delicious and it gets the panties off faster than you can say Harvey Dent. But don't take my word for it.

Even Wade Boggs' formidable mustache trembles in fear.