Friday, August 22, 2008

Daily Blog

Well loyal readers, the summer is winding down and soon your humble authors will be heading back to their respective schools. You can expect business to pick back up as both of us will need something to do instead of homework.

But before we get back into the swing of things, let me introduce you to the greatest blog on the internets.

**WARNING: You should only view this if you have 4 to 5 hours to kill laughing your ass off.**

It's called Sexy People. And it is great.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Daily Fastest Man Alive

Usain Bolt is the fastest man to ever walk this earth.

This statement is not up for debate after Bolt won both the 100m and 200m sprints at the Beijing Olympics. Bolt is only the 3rd person to win gold in both events in the same Olympics (joining Jesse Owens, noted anti-Nazi, and Carl Lewis, noted singer) and the 1st person ever to set world record in both events.

In addition, Bolt is Jamaican and everyone loves Jamaicans. Oh, and his name is Usain Bolt. Usain Bolt. The only thing he could have been other than a world class runner is a space cowboy.

However, now Bolt is being criticized by the IOC and its chairman Jacques Rogge for his showboating during the 100m sprint.

On the other hand, the IOC is being criticized by me for completely lacking a pair of, as a Dominican once said to me referring to his friend who had his knees buckled by a sub-par curveball, "cajones." I was always told to "never show off because there is always someone better than you." This is sound advice and I follow it constantly. However, Bolt is the best. There is nobody better. Let the guy talk all the trash he wants, if others don't like it, they should train harder. Earn your ego.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


One hot trend in sport right now is NBA players leaving for lucrative European contracts. Players such as Josh Childress and Jannero Pargo have left thanks to the allure of lax defense, no salary caps, and strong currencies (really, what pigs...who could ever want something like that?). There have even been rumors saying that LeBron James and others would go play in Europe if offered enough money.

But really, that's all child's play compared to the coup that Premiata Montegranaro of the Italian league just pulled off.

The player they acquired is a true titan of basketball history. A man known for his thunderous dunks, vicious blocks, and nasty cocaine habit. A man who has never not sired an illegitimate child.

Who is this man you may ask?