Saturday, April 5, 2008
Daily SAll-Star: Keanu "Thespian Pants" Reeves
Keanu Reeves is kind of a poop. He's an undeniably terrible actor and some of his movies are unspeakably bad. But every once in a while one of his movies somehow manages to kick ass despite his presence in it.
Speed was pretty good, but mostly because of Dennis Hopper and explosions, and zero-ly because of Keanu and Sandra Bullock. When those two made another movie together a few years later, The Boat House or The Lake House or The Shit House or Not Road House or whatever it was called, the distinct lack of Dennis Hopper and explosions resulted in a terrible movie.
Later on he made The Matrix, which starred Lawrence Fishburne, Lawrence Fishburne's sunglasses, and leather pants. It was pretty cool until the Wachcchchcchchchowwski Brothers turned the series into Star Wars for sexual fetishists and we found out that one of them is an S & M transsexual-in-progress. That kind of killed it for me.
I personally like The Devil's Advocate, because it pits Keanu (terrible actor) against Al Pacino (perhaps best actor ever), and tries to carry that battle for two hours as if it weren't decided at the opening credits. Would you put money on Keanu in that fight? The studio did. Ouch.
But I would be remiss if I neglected to mention Keanu's opus, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. This groundbreaking film gave us perhaps the first look into Genghis Khan's private life and why Napoleon was, in Ted's own words, such "a dick." Bravo.